Stagnant~

I'm about to go to bed this cold evening..it feels relaxing to spend some time at home with family and the opportunity to crash the sack this early..

After started working, it just seems like everything, every feeling that used to flow inside of me have disappeared. I dont feel emo like i used to be, i dont drink like i used to drink, don't go out till 4 in the morning, don't text the person whom i'm not supposed to text back then, don't watch drama like how i've watched everyday.

Maybe everything i felt have been covered in a corner for the time being as i'm too tired to even try to pick up where i left of. For now, im juz gonna let things fall into place by itself.

Not gonna try to feel the things that i don't feel, and not gonna think of the things that wouldn't happen. Just like a robot, i wake up, work, eat, sleep and work again...until the day i found my feelings back again...


Without wind, without sunshine and without water~


Just stagnant...

Lately~

So many things happened without even realizing the sign of it comin..

First, going back to the office and trying to adapt with the new environment,new culture and new family..well... i'm not gonna comment anythin bout it..juz a routine stuff everybody has to go through..

Secondly, dealing with the leaving of a quitter. Hmm...in our lives, we will meet many that are cruel enough to quit on us even if they know that u needed them..if u thought somebody's reliable, i suggest u give a second thought! Be aware on WHO u rely on! Haha..

guess u cant control people's life huh? well...i guess what/who doesn't kill u makes u stronger..

Sorry that i cant precisely write my story here..maybe its better to have a lil mystery behind it..hehe

Everyone have this story but it depends on which angle u took it from!

Last weekend, me n the girls went to this Karabau cafe located at Jonker Street to watch our manyzer's and TF's performance. No doubt that the environment is very lively probably bcoz that place is full with other performers. Basically we just sat there the whole nite as we were waiting to TEAR the CB (not what u're thinking about ar!) but too bad, rui n i leave early as we have to get up very early the next morning.

N mel make it back on time again to catch this show..very lucky of her..haha..

Din take any pic tho, as it was kinda dark there.. :P

stupid or naive?

For doing the same thing even though u know its wrong and it'll be going nowhere?

For some time, i really realized my mistake and promise myself not to fall in another trap ever again..

but then i let it start all over again willingly without stopping..

Hoping for happiness? maybe.

Or juz looking for excitement in such dull life of mine back then? probably.

Felt being used and then got dumped coz u're worthless anymore? very much.



It's a situation where im being cheated and im also the cheater!

A complicated thing~~

my mistake~~

Sorry for being a softie in dealing this.

Sorry for giving u hope that i'll change.

Sorry for letting u and the people dat have faith in me down.

Sorry...

Sorry for the commitments i have.

Sorry i cannot make u understand my life.

Sorry u cannot see my responsibilities.

Feeling like this~~

Juz like the feeling of writing a new post..

The urge to post something but have nothing much to write about its juz like the feeling to contact somebody but you have nothing to talk about...

So...to call or not to call?

To leave or not to leave Mlk? There's so many things that im gonna miss here..Everything's here and i my heart will never be there.

Pls tell me what to do...

Dont wanna be alone!

emo one!

How many drops of tears i've cried?
.Uncountable.

How frustrated i get from waiting?
.Unmeasurable.

How emo am i facing this situation?
.U Don't Know.

How i differentiate between whats right and wrong of the things i've done?
.I Never.

How i deal with this problem?
.Cups of Poison i down every chance i have.

For Display Only

4 in the morning..

2 days in a row we went home at 4am, looking like a shit face and smelling like we've never been bathed...haha (abit dramatic)

why?

believe me...nothing but a bad reason..



Yes...we drank again...

Actually it was juz a normal outing at 12am..but bcoz of emo-ness filled our head and heart, we decided go to jetty and drink the hell out of us..

We (or i should say them) sit there till 4 to wait for ppl to come and eventually rape and rob us..haha...juz kidding..but i'm glad i'm still alive.

The next nite was a b'day party at this club which i don wanna mention here..
It was the b'day of d bassist of Terra Firma.

The nite started quite boringly bcoz all we can see there is those girls wearing panties n bra,singing and dancing all over d place and get paid hell alot of monayyyyyy...

After dat we were moved into a Karaoke room which was quite fun la...
I dunno why the time fly so quickly that day that we din even realize it was already 4am when we drag the "drinking queen" out of the club.

I'm glad we're sober for 3 days now..after 4 days of drinking..

What's life?

Mistaken.

I was naive not to let you go when the time was right,
I was a fool living in a dream that I thought could last,
But I know that you will try to prove me wrong,
But it's what I've got to do,
I think you're mistaken, I'm sorry to say,
I'm really just a loser who's getting in your way,
I think you've forgotten, all of your plans,
See you never meant to be here,
And I think you should know,
You're better off alone,

And it's clear to me that everything has changed,
Cuz nothing that we do feels the same any more,
And I'll admit, I'll take the blame,
Maybe we just moved too fast,
And how could expect something like this to last.

You and I, we were standing watching us fall apart,
So let me go and move along..

Ladies Nite!

Last weds we went to ladies nite at pure!

The Clubbing Legs


Dats Us


The Usual 3


Thanks for coming back at the right time!



The nite was unstoppable and uncontrollable..

Tired~~~

Wasted

Last nite we decided to camp by the pool side at rui's appartment!

Our tent for the nite!


Main character of the nite!


Hyper-ness to open bottle after setting up the tent!


First toast of the nite!


Second!


There were only 3 of us, then


Unexpected guest showed up, Ah Kiew Kiew


All of us pengsan at around 3.30am..



I'm not really sleeping..the main purpose of this pic is the pig behind me..slept through-out the nite!



Woke up about 5am then when back home pengsan again..

Only 1 word to say about this ...Crazy.

Glad that ah kiew came..the nite wouldn't be as fun without u..hehe!

repeat~

It was a cold weds nite when we went for a drink. We ended up in sampan at first. There was only 3 people there by that time. The atmosphere were really quite and i started to feel a lil akward...i dunno y..maybe i duno how or wat to talk..

Light that was shining on us..


we sat there for about an hour then decided to go back to town to see what else we can do in town.

Finally we made up our mind to go ktv instead.

Before that we were having beer at the cafe..


Still water.


I had fun..but i somehow regretted this outing..I'm sorry

So beautiful,yet so blur..


Last Pic of the nite

bored lor....

After having satay celup, we decided to go around mlk for abit...bcoz its too early to go home..and lately i don feel like going home at all if i'm already out. After that we ended our journey at cafe guan.

A really nice old school chinese style cafe.



Love the ceiling..


Reluctant to show face!


It's a really suitable place to relax and the drinks are great and affordable ;)

Not surprised to bump into 5ft1's manager there..Afterall same type of people,hang out at same type of place..anywhere cool. (heheh)

nite.

tequila sunset?

It's an emo night tonite..what's better to do than sipping on a home made tequila sunrise? Duno why it smells like ciggie today...maybe pour too much tequila in it..

well.....cheers

now i'm burning!!




dis is how i feel rite now..

out out out!

Crazie nites with them..






close up shot.

Fun nite at the nest.




Out with them almost everyday...maybe we should take more pics..

obstacles...

i was dying to go for this interview but end up at the highway instead coz my car broke down and the bus tickets to KL was sold out....sigh..

and b4 dat i almost got into an accident....twice!

what bad luck...

there goes my hope~~~


Helpful Petronas worker..



Mom reading newspaper while waiting..



Very early in the morning..

Life's unpredictable.

pleasant holidae..

Yesterday i managed to catch Will P. on his Malaysia tour in MP...it's not that i'm a fan..well, juz accompanying my sis.

Will and Myfm dj..whatever his name is.


cute?



still ok lar~~~

and todae, my family i went to Pavilion for a 1 day trip..Can't deny that i lurveeeee to shoppe...esp shopping in Pavilion..heheh..

Lunch at TGIF...hmm...pricey pricey..


Well, nothing much i can buy today maybe bcoz i need to accompany them to do their shopping as well...Quite tiring actually coz we walked quite abit just now...so..

this is fat face on da way back to mlc after a loooong day..


hehehe...nitez..

hmmm..........~~

Looking at the right dog at the right time and at the right mood just makes me feel like i'm over the moon..

POODLES..






HAVANESE..







AMERICAN COCKER SPANEILS



Never fail to melt my heart...When can i have one?

Waiting~~

All this waiting is making me quite frustrated...how long am i suppose to wait?

Sigh, what can i do?

Sometimes i feel so lonely to be in this situation..everyone seems so unaproachable..even if they are approachable, they wouldn't understand.

How will my future be like? The only thing i know its dat i can't give up.

I just pray that i will not wait for long..

Gdnite.

Can't speak..

One of the greatest drama i've watched so far..

誰人無得到一切的渴求
> Seoi yan mou dak dou yat chai dik hot kau
誰人無攻於心計的理由
> Seoi yan mou gung yu sam gai dik lei yau
平凡人生天真過後要怎麼走
> Ping faan yan sang tin jan gwo hau yiu jam mo jau
如何從委曲中再相信人
> Yu ho chung wai kuk jung joi seung seun yan
誰無狂想不可告人
> Seui mou kong seung bat ho gou yan
難忘時光必須散蓆留下我
> Naan mong si gwong bit seui saan jik lau ha ngo
快樂時抱著時那是至死不渝朋友
> Faai lok si pou jyu si na si ji sei bat yu pang yau
決裂時你為何以為再拖一會
> Kyut lit si nei wai ho yi wai joi to yat wui
還有時候
> Waan yau si hau
即是多風光都要清醒
> Jik si do fung gwong dou yiu ching sing
有幾多掌聲也是孤清
> Yau gei do jeung seng ya si gu ching
你只可聽到我大笑聲
> Nei ji ho teng dou ngo daai siu sing
哭泣也未放聲
> Huk ya ya mei fong sing
講不出聲講不出聲
> Gong bat cheut seng gong bat cheut seng
任由自己半夜清醒
> Yam yau ji gei bun ye ching sing
我只不過偶爾受了驚
> Ngo ji bat gwo ngau yi sau liu geng
於是才遺忘本性
> Yu si choi wai mong bun sing
誰人能甘心一世一個人
> Seui yan nang gam sam yat sai yat go yan
如何才得資格可愛人
> Yu ho choi dak ji gaak ho oi yan
誠惶誠恐只得我是明白我
> Sing wong sing hung ji dak ngo si ming
baak ngo

21

I've been keeping myself real bz after convo..

I tidy up and painted my room for the entire day on monday..

and on tues...as i thought i came close to getting something i'm interested in doing, i got con to do something else which i've never ever thought i'll even have the chance in experiencing it...well...lets say its a lesson for me to learn.. At the end of the day, i did gain some experience don't i?

on weds,i did nothing much...went to a friend's house to get the chords of some songs that we'll play for jamming session this sun, went shopping and drinks with the gals..

Today, i went for a movie..it's called 21.. It was a good story..

there's this genious, BEN that has got in to harvard but he has got no money to pay for the tuition fees of 300k and he has to tell a story to convince the principle so that the principle would give him the scholarship. By then, he was just a "no life" student that do not have any unforgettable life experiences bcoz what he does was just study and work. As he was in his class, he got discovered by a lecturer that then asked him to join his "black jack" team which consist of 4 other students where they practise cards counting for that game. they would then go to Vegas every weekend to play. 50% of the money they win, they'll have to give to their lecturer, Micky. so, as time goes by, BEN and his team are getting quite wealthy where the get to experience the "no limit" spending on clubs, girls, suites, limo, shopping etc and has successfully collected 315k for his tuition fee. however, ben's best frens back in boston realized the changes in him and decided to go on their own way without him.. that week he lost 200k of Micky's money but micky insist that he has to find a way to pay him back that lum sum of money. then he decides to go on with his team without micky guiding them. After awhile, he got caught counting cards and got beaten up..and by the time he got back to boston, micky took everything from him, his money for the fee and let him fail the subject so he cant gradute from the diploma course he has been doing. So he then confronted micky and persuade him to play again with his team for 1 last time.This time, they'll both play as a big player so that they can double up their winnings. As they were winning big money, the casino's authorities came out and started to chase them because they're performing the card counting method again to win those money. they then arrested micky for that's the man that they've been looking for many many years. the authority then get ben back to his studies bacause at the end of the day, this was a plan made up by the authority and ben so that they can get to micky.

Lastly, ben went back boston with nothing but this story to tell the principle why he deserves the harvard scholarship.

Maybe my version of story sucks..If u have the chance, watch it before this show stops showing...

gdnite!

Finally~~~~~~~

Hmmm.......what a tiring day...

My family and i woke up 5am in the morning today only because there's 1 reason...that its to celebrate the ending of a beautiful yet fairy tales story path...and a beginning of a realistic and life torturing path...

So many "fa"........

It's hard to describe how i feel today...i can only say...full of surprises....

finally.........

And i really wanna thank them from the bottom of my heart for what they've sacrifice just to give me this surprise...only u guys can make the scene so.........so..........erm......."gay". Hahaha..nola...touching was the word i was trying to say. (ASK U ALL DON COME, STILL WANNA COME, AIYOOOOOOO)...hahahah..sorry ppl...only they understand this phrase. Only through them i learn that in this world, the most important ppl in my life besides my family n jon, is them..the ppl that care..u know who u r...
std procedure ah this fri...every fri!! can't wait to see u all...muaks muaks..



by aunty n her anak!


And to my dearest Jimuis...sadly only 2 make it to the event today, i'm happy enough that i'm still in their heart. What u gave me today, is 1 of the most special thing that i've ever received. Thanks!
till this day, i still miss u all like hell ah!! i know things will never be the same again but our memories will remain forever...


by lin lin



by moi

And thanks to everyone that has made their effort to come to my convo today....family n him, love u guys alot..

Till we finally meet again.......gdnite!